Well folks, it’s been a couple of weeks since my last post, and I apologize for the radio silence.
Everything is going pretty well, but finding the time to write a thoughtful, informative post has been very hard to do – what with 3 kids, Mary Elizabeth, her mother and a full-time job. But in a nutshell, here’s what we’ve been up to:
We had an uneventful Independence Day weekend, with a barbecue and fireworks by the water in Oyster Bay. It was a little hot, but we had a good time. Mary Elizabeth saw a lot of friends whom she hasn’t seen in a while, so it was a good chance to catch people up to what’s been going on with us.
With each passing day, we’re getting more and more accustomed to our “activities of daily living” and are trying to discern any amount of progress, and I think there’s been quite a bit. Mary Elizabeth’s physical strength in her arm and leg is returning, which is great news. The challenge on that front is that because of the damage to the nerves, she doesn’t know where her leg is at any given time, which makes independent walking almost impossible. But we feel that with more and more practice, she’ll learn to compensate for that lack of awareness.
Her speech continues to improve, but the expressive aphasia is a challenge that is at times hard to bear – for Mary Elizabeth and those around her. It tends to be exacerbated by fatigue, so we try to avoid this by napping and early bedtimes. It helps a little.
The biggest news on the horizon is that she’s been cleared to start going to therapy at a facility near our house called Transitions. It’s part of the North Shore Hospital system, and has quite a good reputation for helping stroke patients. In the next few weeks, she’ll have some appointments, and then begin a regime that will be more intense than the program at home. So we are hoping for accelerated improvement.
Our kids are more and more amazing every day. They accept Mary Elizabeth for the person she is, and don’t seem to dwell on the person she was. She is their mother and they love her. They’ve really stepped up in terms of being helpful, thoughtful and considerate – not that they weren’t that way before – but we’re really seeing that part of their personalities blossom. It’s heartwarming to see, and I know that Mary Elizabeth appreciates it.
I have been struggling a bit in the last several weeks. It’s a combination of being tired, and a bit worn down by 7 months of anxiety and stress, and the responsibilities on my shoulders. But time and time again, when I find myself faltering or feeling overwhelmed, Mary Elizabeth will do or say something that brings me back to a balanced place, where I can confidently keep on going.
I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. I find that if I step back and start thinking too much about the life we have now, or how long I’ve been keeping this up, or what an unfortunate situation this is, I will start to feel low. Of course that’s because I’m focusing on the wrong things. The minute I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again (with apologies to Jerome Kern & Dorothy Fields) with a renewed focus on Mary Elizabeth, I get back on track.
And our friends have been amazing as well. Somebody offered me a few hours of “adult conversation over dinner” a few weeks ago, which was such a frank, considerate and funny way of describing what I needed the most. We both really appreciated it, and look forward to more of the same.
So it’s with a humble and grateful heart that I say thanks, and promise to write more regularly if I can.
Moved in Sundry Places 
Mary Elizabeth & Scott – It was so great to see you both last night! It really made an already terrific evening so much better! ME, you look amazing and I am so glad that you are progressing so nicely.
I know you both know it already, but it bears repeating that you should be so proud of eachother and your awesome children. You are so lucky to have eachother and your strength and love are so apparent to all around you. Keep up the good work because it really shows! – Jeanne
My bet is now that you’re not in “panic mode,” and have a chance to sit back and contemplate, you have a moment or two to think “holy sh*t.” Of course you’re tired, what with the level of alertness you’ve had to maintain since December. Let the love of those around you and your family help prop you up, as you yourself have been propping everyone else up. Thinking of you all with love and cool breezes!
I wish I were closer by this summer to visit and help out. Lots of love to everyone — although I’m far away, you are always present in my thoughts.
Hi Scott,
So glad you all are seeing constant improvement in MaryElizabeth.
How wonderful that your kids are stepping up to help with day to day life and ME’s progress.
Take a breath now and then for yourself!
Hi Scott and Mel-was so glad to read Scott’s entry and although I missed the frequent updates, I knew the time would come when finding the time and emotional energy would take its toll. Scott -you have been an amazing “everything” for the last 7 months and I don’t think those of us that know you can tell you that enough! That Mel is making positive progress is the absolutely best news and that she buoys you when at your lowest ebb is the ultimate testament to your love and commitment. I have ALWAYS thought your kids were amazing and that they have responded as they have is a testament of the strength of the family bond created early on. Hoping to see everyone soon! love, bambi
I have been checking and it was GREAT to see a post today.
You know, Scott, we all get down sometimes, and when life is really tough, we just have to put ourselves in the hands of God.
I know you are a bell-ringer. Do you enjoy contemporary Christian music? Here is one that I think is a big encouragement for one who is struggling with burdens. God bless you, Scott.
~ http://il.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2SzlcIPa58&feature=related ~
Sounds like life is moving on in a different way…children are amazing in how they can so easily accept new situations much better than us adults at times, we think too much.
If you need any help getting Mary Elizabeth to and fro please feel free to call me I would love you help!
Scott – ANY time. If you need me, let me know. And that includes lunch or dinner companionship for you.
more by email
Betsy
Scott,
It’s ok for you to stop posting if you feel like it. It shouldn’t be something you need to force yourself to do. At some point you will probably feel that way if you don’t already. And that’s okay. Our thoughts and prayers will always be with you.
I think of you and your family every day. I know that God is bringing you the strength you all need for the journey ahead. I know it is hard but try to remember that you are never alone. God is always with you and you have been blessed with such loving friends and family to keep you going. Children are amazing, I am glad to read that your kids are accepting of the situation they are in right now and have responded with faith and love. Good luck with the new therapy and let us know how that is going when you can. Don’t feel you have to write just write when you feel you can.
God Bless,
Bob & Carol Gross
Great news! All the best for the new ‘regime’ at Transitions and lots of Love from Michael and me!
You are in my thoughts daily! I miss my friend and offer help any way you need.
Scott and Mary Elizabeth,
I send greetings and blessings from Annandale where it was 100 degrees at 7:30 p.m. last evening and still in the upper 90’s when my husband and I walked out of a restaurant at about 9:15 – bizarre!
As a friend from afar, I confess I check up on you frequently during the week. I have no other way of knowing how you are managing than to read a post since we are not in touch by other means.
However, since you seem to need to focus on your current situation – living life as you know it now – I too “give you permission” to stop posting if it doesn’t serve any other need than to fill in the likes of me. You are surrounded by people who love and care for you in concrete ways – Praise God for that.
That being said, if writing about your life helps you process and feel more gratitude to the Almighty for how He is always caring for you, then by all means, post.
I have grown to care about you both and your wonderful family who are all “in the hands of God” as the Newsboys sing. “The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Psalm 33: 11.
I hope you are doing the things that bring you closer together as a family and closer to Him who will complete the good work in you that He has begun. I hope this summer is proving to be a time of blessing and lots of family togetherness. All the best to you and the children!
Your friend and sister in the Lord,
Maria Elliott