We’ve had a busy few days as we try to lead as “normal” a life as we can given the circumstances. Friday night, Mary Elizabeth and her mother went to a bridal shower for a young friend who’s the daughter of Lutheran High School’s headmaster. I dropped them off and picked them up later and it seemed like they had a great time. Yesterday, Mary Elizabeth had a visit from three fellow mothers of twins – Theresa, Mary Grace and Nancy. Louisa kept them entertained with an impromptu dance recital. And last night, we went with Gioia and her daughters to see a movie – the first one Mary Elizabeth and I have been to since before the stroke. It was great!
This is the 12th father’s day I’ve celebrated as a father, and it has me in a reflective mood. For me, fatherhood has been such a joy – we’ve been blessed with three great children, who this morning got up early and made a giant “happy father’s day” sign in chalk on the driveway, incorporating my favorite things (I was interviewed before hand) – including navy blue (favorite color), Mary Elizabeth (favorite person), funyuns (favorite food), bellringing (favorite hobby) and martinis (favorite drink). There were many others as well.
But what is fatherhood really about? Is it about support? Providing food, a roof and clothes for the family? Is it about authority? Firmly leading the way, with equal doses of discipline and doting? Or is it more about the physical, being there to play sports, hang curtains or dispatch the stray spider or wasp who wanders into the house?
I guess for me – it’s about all those things (except maybe for the sports part – sorry!). But above all, it’s about taking care. Caring for children, and now Mary Elizabeth. I thought this morning as I was washing Mary Elizabeth’s hair, this is what it’s about. As I was setting out breakfast options for kids, and reviewing outfits (all with navy blue in my honor), I thought that this is what being a father is all about. Tomorrow as we attend Charlotte’s moving up ceremony as she leaves the 5th grade, I’ll be thinking the same thing. I’m sure I’m not the world’s greatest father (my kids will tell you quickly that I’m too strict), but I try hard to act out of love, and above all take – and give – good care. The experiences of the last 6 months have taught me alot about what it means to be a caregiver, and I hope that I’ve learned some valuable parenting lessons at the same time.
So my Father’s Day wish – apart from the obvious wish for Mary Elizabeth’s recovery – is that we take care of each other, provide sustenance, guidance and love. Because care is in many ways the physical manifestation of love – and we could all use more of that.
Happy Father’s Day to all those fathers and caregivers out there.
Moved in Sundry Places 
Sounds like a fine Fathers’ Day, and many more to you and yours.
B
You have been a wonderful caregiver.
Now my take on Fatherhood comes from Ephesians 3:
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that he may grant you in accord with the riches of his glory to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inner self, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the holy ones what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Bless you and your family,
~Maria E. in Annandale
What a wonderful Father’s Day message.
It is truly inspiring to read this blog and see how you and Mary Elizabeth, and the children, and Lucille have conquered what might be insurmountable odds for others.
I cannot agree more, that something very so mundane, like washing someone’s hair, is what a truly great and loving marriage is all about. Sometimes we forget that and think that marriage is about vacations, or special dinners, or gifts, but as they said for all of us “in sickness and in health”.
We hope to see you soon and send our love to everyone.
Wonderful message, Scott. I was so good to see Mary Elizabeth at the shower on Friday it felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were back together.
Dear Scott
Glad that you had a happy Father’s day! It certainly is a day for reflecting and thanking God for His many blessings in our lifes. Did you ever imagine that you would be thankful for the opportunity to wash Mary Elizabeth’s hair? We sometimes get caught up in everyday life that we forget how much we have to be thankful for. May you continue this journey with patience, love and strength. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Mary Elizabeth, your children and Lucille each day. You have taught us all so much.
God Bless,
Bob & Carol
Scott and MEB,
It’s been awhile since my last comment – just wanted to thank you for continuing to share this epic ordeal. You both continue to define what’s good in the human spirit.
Always in my thoughts and prayers,
Kevin
It was so great to see Mary Elizabeth last week and visit with you all. We are looking forward to our next visit with some playmates very soon.
I hope you had a wonderful father’s day. Your beautiful family is a testament to what a good man and father you are.
Take good care,
Theresa Koubek
Scott,
I work with Mary Elizabeth and want to thank you for the incredible job you have done in sharing what you, Mary Elizabeth and your children have dealt with since December 5. I am saddened by what you have been through but more importantly I humbled by your strength, faith and grace.
In the face of incredible heartbreak and uncertainty the example of love and optimism you have set for your children, friends and anyone who has had the privilege to read your blog is extraordinary. I have been truly blessed to been able to follow along in your journey. You, Mary Elizabeth and your children are in my prayers.
Thank you,
Bill
Dear Scott and Mary Elizabeth, A bit late to post, but how beautiful. Caring, in the end, is how we show our love for each other. You are a great example. Love, Noelle
How is Mary Elizabeth? How is the family? I’ve become connected through this blog and I worry when I don’t see anything. Silly me!
Glad to hear/read the progress continues. The story of supportive friends is a touching one to review once again – as you will be able to do every year. I love the “new” pictures – hadn’t visited in a while. I don’t know how you do what you do, but god or some higher power provides precisely what we need when we need it, I suppose. And THAT coming from a Unitarian! Accept my humble best wishes for the holidays and beyond. You and your family are in our thoughts.